life
by Taporonishia
Summary: a young boy reflects on the meaning of life and finds it...meaningless.   containes shonen-ai/boys love. OC 100tc


_What is life, what is the purpose of living? _Nobuki would ask himself as he lay on his worn out mattress, staring up at the starry night sky. _There's no such thing as love, or being loved. It's a myth that's people make up just to fuck._ He thought, turning his body to the side so he wouldn't have to stare at the happy-go-lucky stars partying in the sky with their friends and family. So close. The winter night grew colder as morning grew closer. He pulled his thin –hole covered blanket closer to his face, trying to escape the cold air from reaching his delicate, pale skin.

Why should anyone live like this? With no love? The front door of his house slammed open and a man stepped out, falling and tumbling as he did so. "Noubuki!" he yelled. "Get yo-_hic-_ass in this house this –_hic_- instant!" he yelled, slurring his words as he did so.

Nobuki pulled the sheet over his head, hoping it would hide him from the man.

"Don't think I don't see you! I know where you are –_hic_- so unless you wanna get a rough spanking, I'd get yo ass in here!"

Nobuki lifted himself from the mattress, dragged him, the mattress and blanket with him as he walked towards the trashed house. 'I'm too old for spanking." He said under his breath.

The man placed his leg between Nobuki and the entrance. "Eh? What was that? Were you back-sassing me boy?" he asked.

"n-no Ochiru-san." Nobuki said as he began walking forward, hoping that the man would move his leg.

But he didn't. "I told you to call me big daddy." He said, followed by a wicked snicker.

Nobuki evaded his eyes as much as he could, "p-please just let me pass—I want to go to sleep." He said his voice quivering as he did so. The wild snicker grew louder—closer. Nobuki swiftly jolted his head to the side, only to meet eyes with the maniac that calls himself his father.

"It seems you really want this place to be whipped real well, eh?" the man said as he placed his hand on Nobuki's small round ass. He groped it a few times as his hot, repulsing breath blew over the nape of Nobuki's neck. The boy then jolted forward.

"L-let go of me!" he yelled running into the door. "y-you're drunk again, Ochiru-san." Nobuki said as he stood in the frame of the door. Though half his body was inside, all felt freezing cold.

"I'm drunk for you, baby." The man said as he moved forward and tripped on his own two feet, falling face first on the cold front porch of the trashed, cold, smelly house.

Nobuki sighed; he walked over to his "room". In fact, it was more of a shoe closet than an actual bedroom. The space in there only fit his small flat mattress. Nothing more could squeeze their way into this "bedroom." Nobuki fell into the cold. He draped himself with the small sheet he called a blanket and tried drifting off to sleep. But sleep didn't want him; for he remained awake for countless hours.

'ochiru-san probably fell asleep out side again.' He thought, turning over to one side, trying to make himself feel comfortable.

'whenever I bring money into this house, he a;ways spend it on alchohol.' Nobuki thought as a sudden feeling of anger overhwlmed him, 'all the hard damned work I do—for what? Nearly getting raped all my life by that man who dares call himself my father. ' he felt tears in his eyes form as he recalled the time his actual parents died.

Looking, staring into the empty eyes of the people that lay in the whisperd their names and none turned to look at him, none acknoldged his presence. They just remained there, motionless, no breathes escaped or entered their beings.

Nobuki shoot his head vionlty, trying to repress the image of that time back into his past. He hates his life. He hates the feeling of being alive. Every breathe that he takes makes him want to yell out, scream out unitl his lungs burst. But everytime he thinks of killing himself, a sudden inner pain overpowers his body and he can't do it. He just can't bring himself to take anyones life—not even his own. Not even ochiru.

Finnaly after some hours of laying still, nothing but mindless btreathing, he drifted off into sleep. He dreamt of a wonderful life—where his parents were, his real birth parents, and where happiness was around every corner. There wasn't a damn frown in his dream, nothing but smiled flooded his mind. When he awoke he felt tears trickling their way down his soft pale cheeks. If only life was really like that. Of only he could feel like that.

So on this day he heads back to work. Back to get money so his foster parent could buy alchohol again. Back to get money so his foster parent could rape him again. Nobuki works at a nearby fast-food resturaunt. The only place that would hire him. He took orders, and almost everyday the manager would stop by his work area and tell him to smile more to the customers. And everyday nobuki would just stare at the manager with the same uninterested smile. The manger would just walk away, like everday, only to remind him again again the next.

"may I take your order, sir?" Nobuki asked. A smile tried breaking his way past the cold doors of the frown, but alas the poor smile couldn't be saved and was overpowered by this sadden unhappy frown. The customer stared into Nobuki's eyes.

"are you alright?" he asked Nobuki, catching the young teen by surprise.

"F-fine. I'm fne." Nobuk isaid as a light blush flushed over his cheeks. He felt a sudden wave of embaressment drown him.

"you sure, " the man asked again. He held out his hand over the counter, "I'm Shuukan Sumare." He said.

Nobuki looked at the outsretched hand in shock. He went for it, "I-I'm Nobuki." He said taking hold of the customers hand.

"Nobuki?" the man asked. "that's it, no last name?" he chuckeld slightly.

"I don't want a last name." NObuki said, letting go of the man's hand. "may I take your order?" he said, his cold, dead, ununtrested voice and fronw returned.

!

"You're not meeting the goals you should be." The manager said to Nobuki after his shift just ended.

"I try my best." He said as he gathered up what little things he needed.

"I'm sorry to say this, Nobuki-kun." The manager said handing the boy a fragile piece of papaer. "but this will be your last paycheck from me."

Nobuki stared at him, wide eyed

'no…'

"You're fired."

The pounding of the teens heart stopped instantly as he heard those words repeating over and over again in his head. No…no…no….no…

"y-you can't!" Nobuki yelled. "I need this job—my family is to broke we need the money!" he lashed out and clutched to the manager's shirt tightly.

"I'm sorry Nobuki, but we've already got someone to fill your position. And in the interview, they could actually smile." The manger said, pushing the boy off his shirt then walked away. Walked out of Nobuki's life….forever.

The teen collapsed on the ground. He placed his head in his knees. 'life—wo needs it, no me, not me!' he cried, whats left of his body fluids travled down his cheeks. He tasted nothing, dry nothing. He needed food, water, he needs good home—a better life.

!

He sat there, unwanting to return home, by the resturaunt he was fired from only a few hours beforehand. Nobuki reached into his pocket and drew out the only weapon he's ever known to have. A mini sized pocket knife he found one day while searching through the dumpster. The weapon he holds has no great power, the only reason he hold onto it is so he knows theres always a way out.

He flipped the blade open and looked around, making sure n oone was coming, making sure Ochiru-san wasn't around. He slowly placed the cold metal on his frozen arm and slowly sawed his way past the frozen skin. The pain felt no different from the time he spent with his fosture father at night. No different…

But just as he was about to press down, press down hard into that big pulsating vein, a voice broke out and smacked the blade fom his hands. To large warm arms outsrteched themselves in front of him and pulled the teen into a tight wam hug,

"Stop this!" the man said as he squeazed nobuki tighter. "you're not alone—I'll be here for you. Nobuki-kun." The familiar voice said calmy in his ear. Nobuki felt the pain from his self-inflicted wound burn. No words escaped his mouth.

"I knew there was something up with you." The man said as the embracing grew longer, grew warmer. The finnaly separated after a long, long time of hugging.

Nobuki could see, even In this darkness, the face of the man, the face of the customer from earlier.

"S-Shuukan-san…"


End file.
